GREEDY STAR

This veteran actor is known for his relationships in the industry. He has starred in some of the biggest hits of his career helmed by a top director who passed away last year. The auteur was noted for his romantic films. A production company invited this mega star to attend a felicitation ceremony for the director. Interestingly, the star put forward a long list of demands.

The production house was stunned over the mega bucks that the actor asked for, especially keeping in mind the relationship that the late director and he shared. In fact, the director was also responsible in giving the star a fresh lease of life when he was down and out. But as the song goes .. NAA BIWI NAA BHAIYYA ..the whole thing is that... SABSE BADHAA RUPAIIYA !!

PIG. PERIOD

This is a powerful and famous star (and supremely egoistic star) known around the world. He keeps busy and he keeps his lawyers even busier. This summer he got his team to prevent a media story concerning a talked-about woman and a member of his family, then he blocked the publication of pictures of the inside of one of his houses. Despite his claims on being on being royal and loyal(he is neither) OR as it turns out neither is he particularly hygienic. Cleaning up after this star is a NIGHTMARE for the hoteliers who house him in his frequent trips. The fact that he tips generously keeps the lid on the damage he does which actually is pretty bad, HEAR THIS AND DON'T PUKE ...broken bottles filled with strange concoctions of those kinds, kinky lingerie of both sexes, half-sucked barley sugar sticks stuck under bed mattress, hotel food mysteriously thrown under the bed, cigarettes stubbed out on expensive carpeted floors ...and used condoms anywhere and everywhere. All that money on stylists and pr -- what about one nice teacher on hygiene? 

Mr. LOVA LOVA !

This young celebrity couple’s status is not what it appears to be. A recent event indicates that, despite much publicised and expensive diamond trinkets he showers on her from time to time, he is not completely committed to her. She came to visit him on the sets of one of his upcoming films a couple of weeks ago. That night, they attended a party at a local pub, seemed to be in good spirits, and seemed to be together. However, by the end of the night, she was nowhere to be found… and our actor was making out with a very attractive, long-haired female party guest! 

Obviously ultra-expensive gifts don’t represent quite the level of commitment that they used to!! Wait there is more. After enjoying the company of the the long haired stunner for a loooong time, when the lady love finally left, our rake was in no mood to let the party stop. He decided to go to a bar with an equally stoned friend of his and while at the bar spent a considerable amount of time hitting on a foreign exchange student and tried very hard to get her phone number. He did not succeed, but it was not for a lack of effort.

SEX FOR CASH

This sexy and famous TV actress has been caught red handed exchanging sex for money while on camera!  We were told by multiple sources that this vixen had sex with several senior actors.....Don’t vomit yet! We have more! If that isn’t enough to make your stomach turn, we found out that she is also using her manager as her pimp. Some angry wives of smitten costars (who have benefitted from her generous offers) allege that she has her manager set it up and then she goes to Dubai and gets the DINARS!! 

The bizzare thing is she has enough money after the hefty settlement from her first husband but now she has started enjoying her sexapades. May be with all that free time she has she is able to do her thing. Hey, selling your body for cash to buy Channel and those expensive Burberry scarfs...!

FATTY HEROINE

This recentle married pretty actress, known for her talent, who was rather thick to begin with, has always been very weight conscious. After plumping up a little recently, she now wants to sport a flat tummy at an upcoming awards show so you could marvel at how amazing and perfect she is. So she had some liposuction. While she’s been keeping a very low profile lately, she’s never been one to stay out of the spotlight for long, so the paps just might catch a glimpse of her out in public . They might even note that she is walking slower than usual or holding her stomach.

In any case, you will definitely see her at an upcoming awards show – perhaps even on stage, pretending that her flat stomach is the result of discipline and hard work.

THIS STAR HUSBAND WONT CHANGE

A big star’s wife is fretting and ragind that she gave up an almost affair to dote upon her ailing husband. BUT To her horror she has found that her great big ''sacrifice'' is not only going totally unappreciated but also, her big star hubby wants to live separately after getting better!! Whether they merely separate and live under the same roof cordially(like the other superstar couple, coincidentally also their friends) is what insiders are betting on rather than a clean break. This is as much for the couple’s kids as for a spotless image for the benefit of a very vigilant public eye.

While the big star's gigantic PR has fanned out against reports of impending divorce, and has taken to plastering the couple’s ‘happy’ time pictures (which clearly look too contrived) , the icy cold vibes between the once considered a ‘model’ husband and wife were for all to see at a recent mega event. While the big star’s roving eyes is being quoted as the reason for the break, the wife having seen that hubby is not going to change has now clearly seen the light. Sad, how history keeps repeating itself. But who is learning?

SHASHA FINDS HIS GROOVE

In conversation with Shahid and illeana. Check out the video.

CASTING OUCH

A top Bollywood director known for his ever-changing arm candies who consist of sexy young boys has got himself in hot waters, literally caught with his pants down. Now its open knowledge among pretty boys that a trip to his offices leads via a little rumba in the couch or sofa or the very convenient tiger skin floor spread or the plush bear skin lounge quite the centre-piece in his private chambers, one hears. But this boy who wants to make it on his own did not inform the A list director that he also happens to be related to a powerful actor. So happily he trooped to the office of his idol in whose new film he was hopeful of a role, with his thick folio, alas of which was no need, as he soon discovered. On reaching for audition, the boy was handed a set of dialogues from the director’s new film asked to wait in the director’s private office and the boy could not believe his super-luck. So like a good little boy he practiced his lines ready to deliver on cue.

The super–busy director finally arrived a good hour late, and got straight to the point, pun unintended. Briskly giving him a once-over the powerful man asked him to strip and get on the couch. The stunned boy stood frozen which turned to embarrassment when the man started taking off his pants. At this point the boy yelped and made for the door leaving the dumbfounded director with more than his tongue hanging out and headed straight to his powerful actor cousin. We hear some very angry calls and threats laced with choicest of expletives have come the director’s way who was heard complaining at the ‘injustice’ of it all. He after had no idea the boy was ‘apne ghar ka hi bachha’and so fair game !

SHOCKING

This is shocking. A senior and very respected member of the film fraternity is being accused by a newcomer of sexual abuse. The charges if they stick are of serious nature. The biggies in the know are trying their level best to stop the girl from going to town. But neither threat not treat is working on this very adamant girl who also insists she is not doing this or money or fame. The lass apparently has been threatening to show some very lurid smses sent by the very respected gent with poetic description of what he wants to do with her.

Now the girl’s her best friend is being worked on to make her withdraw her threat of going to the press. The girl it seems has finally cooled down enough to give them a hearing but she has second, and very ambitious thoughts one hears, on what she wants in return!! It will be interesting to see whose cookie finally crumbles.

SHAHRUKH KHAN: MONOPOLY OR MERIT

OK so...what is the Economics of Shah Rukh Khan’s Maths??

Shah Rukh Khan is an Economics graduate from Delhi University. In Economics, MONOPOLY is an interesting strategy that helps you sell your product at a higher price and earn enormous profit. With monopoly, the seller dominates. And buyers follow. Another funda is – if a particular product has been missing from the market for a long time, it will certainly kickstart with a positive response, owing to the initial unavailability.

So here are myths and maths of the curious case of Chennai Express' fastest entry in 100 crore club.

Every second Bollywood film aaj kal is conveniently tucking in Rs. 100 crores, making it the latest tagline for films in place of the good old ‘Running  successfully all over.’ SRK’s Chennai Express broke all BO records by grossing Rs. 100 crores in the opening weekend itself.  Some myths and the maths:

The Maths:

On August 9, Chennai Express released in 3,500 screens in India and 700 screens internationally (including 195 screens in the United States, 175 in the United Kingdom, 55 in the Middle East and 30 in Australia), making it the WIDEST Bollywood release of all times.

Chennai Express is currently running in as many as 116 theatres in Mumbai  – with 1400 shows per day. 1400 x 3 = 4200 shows per day of a single film!

¬In Delhi, the movie is running in around 55 theatres, with 520 shows per day

520 x 3 = 1560 shows per day of Chennai Express.

Almost all theatres are currently running one show of this film per hour. Which means around 90% of the shows running in each theatre belonged to SRK's film. Reveals a trade analyst, "SRK has occupied the maximum number of theatres and single screens for a big, wide presence in all the single screens and multiplexes. With no big releases around the movie, people had no other choice than Chennai Express to buy the ticket for."

How many screens will the rest of the films occupy?

Ekta Kapoor's film, Once Upon A Time In Mumbai, which is releasing on August 15, this Friday, is not going to have as wide and big a release and presence at the film theatres. A trade analyst has revealed, "Right now, a lot of issues are being fought amongst Ekta and multiplexes." This might lead to Ekta's film release not getting enough shows in the same.

The myths:

With the movie climbing the Rs. 150 crore ladder at a rapid speed within the first 5 days of release, it must be a much appreciated movie. "Critics are well aware of how big these films open. They can't tweak their reviews to suit box office numbers. A bad film is a bad film even if it breaks a million records," film critic Pratim has been quoted as saying to news websites.  

With more screens being available, increasing ticket prices and more spending power of people, these records will be broken everytime a big movie is released? "Yes, records will continue to break under such circumstances," Rajeev Masand has been quoted as saying, regarding Chennai Express' Box Office records.

Do we get the real figures of the film's collection?

"Unfortunately, there is no foolproof way of determining real Box Office numbers. With multiplexes, there is more transparency because ticket booking systems in multiplexes are computerized. But in the heart of the country, where single screens still form the bulk of the theatrical cinema experience, it is hard to calculate accurate figures because the system is not computerised," Rajeev Masand has  been quoted as saying by news portals.

Shah Rukh Khan's marketing strategy

STRATEGY 1: Marketing - A structured plan to meet the targets

"I learnt immensely from all the mistakes I made at the time of Ra.One. This time, I had about 10-15 meetings solely on the film's marketing strategy. We decided amongst ourselves that the film has to target the first three days of the release -- and we have to sort of finish the game within the first 72 hours, come what may," explained SRK while explaining his film marketing strategies, "The film was strategised, structured and planned according to this plan. We planned to tuck in Rs. 100 crores within this time, and we did it."

STRATEGY 2: Promotions - The easy installments funda

What does the aam junta relate to the most? The easy installments mode. SRK followed their mantra so that they follow his. Give them bits of the film slowly, in small installments so that by the end of it, he's etched in their memory. So, initially, the film's first look was revealed via posters. After a break of about a month, a music launch took place. After a few days, the first trailer was launched online. After two weeks, the first song was released online. After which, Khan began a few public appearances. A short break followed. Again, after a few days, Khan attends promotions, meets the press for some interactions. He returns to his shell soon after. Again, after two weeks, he begins to knock their TV screens - breaking in the middle of their daily soaps, promoting his film. Then IIFA awards begin - a golden chance to up the film's popularity. After another break, SRK throws himself out in the open again, this time for many more interviews for Chennai Express. Trailers on TV and internet, meanwhile, continue to play. He meets people in Mumbai, Bhopal, Pune and the Indian residents in London and Dubai, and ups the number of public appearances as the release comes closer.


STRATEGY 3: Post release, remind them 'Picture abhi baaki hai'

The promotions and strategies have to continue, especially on the day the movie's numbers dip. The moment people bid goodbye to the weekend and consequently the movie theatres, Khan will knock at our TV screens, fly to our city, just to spread the message across, singing the lyrics of his film's song, 'Ticket khareed ke, baith ja seat pe, nikal na jaaye kahin Chennai Express.' Public memory is short, you ought to keep yourself 'alive' in their memory to keep the train moving.

Ek Tha Tiger (Salman Khan): Entered the Rs. 100 crore club in just 6 days - record breaking

Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani (Ranbir Kapoor): Rs. 179 crores total

Dabangg 2 (Salman Khan): Rs. 160 crore total

Rowdy Rathore (Akshay Kumar): Rs. 133 crores total

Agneepath (Hrithik Roshan): Rs. 121 crores

Looks like it's going to be a 'Happy New Year' for the ECONOMIST KHAN knows DAMN WELL that it is all about the numbers !!

WHEN THE KAT’S AWAY

The cat is away and the mice will play. With girlfriend Katrina Kaif busy with her sister’s shaadi in London, who is this mystery date Ranbir Kapoor has stacked up in Mumbai's posh Santa Cruz building apartment? The occupants of the building swear to Ranbir’s nocturnal visits in his swanky new car at odd hours. But arrey…. just by the way…. is it a coincidence that Papa Rishi Kapoor has in the meanwhile issued a strict dictat to him to tone down the ‘besharmi’ in the house? Apparently the dating shating has been curtailed at their Krishna Raj residence, and we assume its ok that the kapoor chirag conducts his business outside the house. Though we are confused as to is papa really angry with ranbir over his numerous casual dalliances?

Rishi Kapoor says in an interview that

‘’There are x y z girls in the house all the time and…’ wink wink ‘…I don’t think ‘x’ knows about ‘y’ or ‘y’ knows about ‘z’.’

Followed by a ‘’aakhir abhi nahin karega tau kab karega’’

If this is what constitutes a scolding then Rishi Kapoor might as well have handed Ranbir a badge of honour for his accomplishments with the ladies ??

So when papa has for all purposes blessed ‘rangeela’ Ranbir fir kya problem hai ?  He just needs to take care that ‘x’ apartment-waali should NOT know about ‘y’ apartment-waali….or the ….yup you get it.

AN OPEN LETTER TO KATRINA KAIF

This is what a prominent entertainment journalist had to say in response to Katrina Kaif's open letter to the media

Dear Katrina

Ok so if I read this right what are you really angry about? You and Ranbir looked great in those pictures. You were adequately dressed for the beach minus the red and white combination of course. Wearing a bikini on the beach is definitely better than wearing one on the cover of cosmopolitan. Also you can’t be dating Bollywood’s new age superstar and behave like you did when you were dating one 18 years your senior.

The two of you are now the biggest stars in Bollywood and if you belong to a generation that says have a great body — will flaunt — then why these double standards? Was it a private beach? No. Was it a beach where people would recognize you? Of Course… you are a superstar remember? Public figure plus public beach usually results in public display of the pictures clicked… Period.

Now the part where you say the pictures were clicked for commercial gain…Fair point, but what about those bikini pictures that have made their way to glamorous magazine covers and the world wide web? Surely not all of them were morphed and definitely resulted in commercial gain for the magazine concerned so what’s the problem?

If memory serves us right it’s been several decades and film magazines in India have been a mixture of interviews, photoshoots and gossip. It’s no secret how these magazines that said interviews, photoshoots and gossip have been mutually beneficial. There’s a reason why they say there’s no business like ‘show’ business.

But having said, if you’re THIS distressed, then here’s what the media should do. We shouldn’t publish any of your promotional pictures. We shouldn’t interview you closer to your film’s release or when you endorse a product. THEN, you can hold us responsible if we get into your house and click pictures. Isn’t that what invasive means in the first place?
Also when we have the crazy chemistry that Deepika and Ranbir share on the big screen to talk about why bother with what’s happening in his personal life unless suddenly… one day… after the super success of Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani… a source close to you starts discussing your holiday plans in front of us.

Also, if you’re looking how “manage” incidents like this, allow us to point you in the direction of Kareena Kapoor and Saif Ali Khan. They came out in the open about their relationship on the red carpet of a fashion week… that was more than five years ago. They have been on countless holidays since and we are sure more than one of them involved sporting the bikini. Not that we’ve seen the pictures.

Yours Truly
Invasive Media Person

WHY IS KATRINA MIFFED

Apart from the fact that they are Bollywood superstars, if you look at the picture.. there is nothing really scandalous about them. A pretty girl in the beach with her boyfriend. They are not indulging in any indecent act. It’s a simple innocuous picture. So the question is why does Katrina Kaif feel miffed and betrayed by the media? According to a letter purportedly written by her Miss Kaif has accused media of yellow journalism. If this is true its an idiotic attempt to shoot the messenger who merely pointed out, in a manner of speaking that the emperor has no clothes!! In the letter Katrina Kaif accuses the Indian media of invading her personal space by printing photographs of Ranbir Kapoor and her, on vacation on a beach in Ibiza, Spain.

‘I am writing this to say that I feel most upset, distressed and invaded at my pictures published in a film magazine (and which were carried by other media). The pictures were taken while I was on holiday by someone who, in an act of cowardice, has shot without permission and then used the pictures for commercial gain. There is a breed of journalism that preys on celebrities in the worst possible manner crossing all lines of privacy and decency. Running these pictures shows support for this school of journalism. I request that all media running these pictures please refrain from doing so. I have a wonderful relationship with the media and have been accessible to the media at all times. There is no reason for this furtive and invasive behavior.’

Surprisingly Katrina Kaif should be complaining about paparazzi invasion considering she stays in London which has the virulent encroachment of the celebrity ‘privacy.’ Even the naked Duchess of Cambridge was not spared so what the hell is she talking about ! Truth is the pictures cannot be denied.

LOVE SPORTS

Well they do say a picture says a thousand words. We wonder at the timing of why suddenly we are being bombarded by 'leaked' pictures of bollywood's sexiest 'it' pair, hugging in Ibiza.. cosying in London.. in Spain .. in Srilanka ..in Newyork ..in Dubai ..it just is going on and on. 

Its unbelievable that the ultra-image conscious Katrina Kaif who is not known for throwing caution to the winds can be unaware of these pictures being leaked. And Ranbir Kapoor ...well... lets say he hides them better than he reveals them ! Maybe Katrina wants the world to know that he is HER man. And he is TAKEN. Knowing her prince charming's glad eye and with gorgeous young girls throwing themselves over him, she could not be in a secure place. Some of these girls could be as determined as Katrina was ! ( recall the Ranbir-Deepika breakup)... 

Must say though Katrina in a red bikini bottom and white top looks extremely fetching and shapely. Chalo at least we nowknow why Ranbir cannot keep his hands off her. Watch this space .. there is more drama happening sooner than later !  

Pix courtesy stardust! 

THE REAL STORY BEHIND THE AWKWARD HUG

Well its happened as they planned it. An awkward little hug diverts attention from their really BIG controversies… of course there is nothing THERE IS NOTHING spontaneous in the great MILAN of the Khans. Shah Rukh Khan and Salman Khan hugging each other at Baba Siddiqui’s party after 5 years is definitely the photo op of the decade! But the event was orchestrated to a T. The two Khan’s entered the party almost at the same time(which itself is NOT happening unless totally planned by the army of overpaid PR machinery they are surrounded by!!). Salman’s Dad Salim Khan holds a long conversation with Shah Rukh and Sohail is all over him. And then Salman moves up seemingly spontaneously and the warring khans hug awkwardly, like they have been trained to do. Of course it’s the biggest PLANNED event of the decade!! After all what better than to give the media a bigger tamasha to talk about. Shah Rukh Khan wanted to divert the attention from Ibram Khan his surrogate son and Salman Khan has his own issues of Hit and Run to deal with. This staged spectacle is the biggest con on the increasingly invasive media. And Hello the two madams who they fought over, well one is a yummy mummy and the other is safely enconsed in the arms of another, so it must seem damn stupid to fight when the reasons are gone. And hey if a little hug takes care of the BIG controversies …. As we said….

SHAHRUKH 'S LUNATIC LUNGI DANCE

And HE can yo yo too ! And here is the proof. Now this is NOT music to a certain Vishal Shekhar's ears - who are mighty pissed that YO YO got a back door entry into their express!

So when we quizzed them Vishal hung up with a terse “Talk to Red Chillies guys” before hanging up! Looks like the fact that Honey Singh is being roped in is a really sore point for the composers. Apparently King Khan felt that Chennai express soundtrack lacked that verve which would connect with the youth( OUCH VISHAL-SHEKHAR !!)

Is the Lunatic Lungi dance -- just the punjabi tadka missing in the south Indian dish ?!!
‘the lyrics : Moocho ko thoda round ghumaake, anna ke jaise chashma lagaake, coconut me lassi milaake. All the Rajni fans, don’t miss the chance’

ALMOST FAMOUS

Of the heart breaking tales which remained untold this one is about a young starlet whose green carpet debut was anything but! She once had a fresh looking face when she debuted against the biggest next gen superstar and was lauded for her fresh appeal. But then after a plastic surgery (needless might we say) gone wrong .. her face overnight lost that extra something she had. Shocked at the cruel cards fate was dealing her she desperately tried a few desperate comebacks, some offbeat roles, frantically walked the fashion weeks so that she stayed in the limelight. She never (NEVER EVER) misses a red (or green sigghhh) carpet, and this time too spent hours picking that special dress to make that lasting impact. She reached the event hoping as usual to be seen with the glamorous news-makers  hoping she would be seen as PART of the IT crowd. She even timed her starry entry coordinating with green carpet scouts to not clash with any of the big stars. So SHE came… SHE saw… SHE preened …SHE posed…and then…just at the perfect moment she opened her pretty mouth for the media, the mikes were rudely snatched away!!  A mega superstar had made an unexpected entry. It was sad to see the lost girl standing with her mouth open … her eyes glazed… at her almost famous turned wretched moment!! 

MOMMA DONT PREACH !

Meet Sridevi's daughter Jhanvi Kapoor. She is supremely lovely poses like a true professional (we think with a momma like Sridevi would you expect any less!! ) At IIFA 2013 Frenzied flashbulbs went off to catch her glimpse...and SHE ...perfectly poised, polished head to foot, hair expensively done up (with every strand in fashionable place) and in her red-carpet(ughhh ...ok ..its Greeen carpet !) shimmering debutant designer dress the lovely Jhanvi Kapoor flashed her pearly whites untiringly. 

So we were taken aback when she unexpectedly shied away like a lamb under fire when we said 'hello'. The truth ..?? .ALAS... the lovely lass is not allowed to talk to the press YET. Does momma Sridevi plan a grand coming out of her daughter, befitting a future Kapoor star( we assume thats where she is heading given all the grooming).

Our Advise -- Please Momma SriDevi.. cut your daughter some slack. After all you have been there and done that, too and come out strong and stunning. Surely a simple HELLO to the media would not dark cloud on your baby girl's silver lining?! 

HEY WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH AMRITA ?!

Mega Skinny alert ! Amrita Rao shocked one and all with her stick like err slim (and we mean really really thinny skinny ) figure at the IIFA 2013 in Macau. The only one who was gushing over her skinny form was herself, I can tell you safely the rest of us were busy counting her ribs. The skinny Minnie has become so thinnie that her dress was sliding off her non-existent waist (some photogs sweared it was one size neck to feet !). 

So when asked about her alarming loss of body mass madame shot back claiming to be the original Size zero ! Babe .... cmon.... fact is this is not size zero, however much you stubbornly insist, this is SIZE MINUS.  

Quick advise would be a headlong dash to the dietician. We wont want the little pimples on the face to scar an otherwise stunning visage. You go Girl. Also check ... https://twitter.com/AmritaRaoTimes 

OHHH … NO ABHISHEK !!

Aaaahhhh Abhishek..Abhishek .. abhishek !! who did this to you ? who is responsible for this slimey green creature on you ? This utterly GHASTLY GREEN peacock sherwani type coat definitely matches the Green carpet you are standing on but ……surely that was NOT the original plan ! What were you thinking with this green monster thing on you ?? Yes you got the Best Comic actor award at the 14th IIFA for 'Bol Bachchan' but dude seriously do you have to be in character as a comedian on the green carpet too ? On popular demand you need to fire the designer responsible for this ghastly crime (Forget our advice - go running back to the the Jani-Khosla Boys please ) . And next time please travel with your supremely gorgeous wife, then maybe people will not notice your fashion crimes.