MOST UNWANTED STAR

Yes, karma has come full circle, and he is getting the boot from the coveted banner. Although he does have a contract that runs through for the next two films, producers singed by his string of films which are proving to be deader than last year’s turkey are now getting their ducks in a row to push him out. The word is out that the producers will be offering the star money to walk away before his contract expires.

While the buyout will be very expensive, it would be even more expensive to let him stay and watch the money fly out of the window. So they are going to bite the bullet, and pay him the big bucks to go away sooner rather than later as public interest in him is on an all time low. They are so keen to get rid of him that they are game to make it look as if it was HIS decision. They also plan to offer him options to go with his departure (other opportunities?), but we’re sure they will come up with some baloney excuse. The star meanwhile continues to be in denial about how much he is wanted.

MOVE ON LADY

She is not getting any younger. The actress (an egoistic wife of a big star) known at one time for her incredible talent and equally formidable temper tantrums is feeling rather lost. While her older peers (with perfect family lives and kids thank you) have managed enviable comebacks, she has only managed to piss people off with her rude attitude. She is ruing her past behaviour (with some B list directors who have become A list) but it’s a bit too late in the day. The talented actress had refused some good roles (one even went to her cousin) claiming the roles were not perfect for her. Of course she made it a point to bitch to everyone within an earshot that the roles were first offered to her. Her superstar co-actors have moved on to younger and fresher ladies. And sadly even the veneer of a perfect family picture (which she was hiding behind) has been cracking for some time. She canNOT be aware of people snickering behind her back so she avoids the parties, not that she is being called to the really happening ones. Her husband’s fallout with a superstar did not win her any brownie points. Though she is still young but her big ego stops her from really going out and getting roles with meat. She stubbornly won’t go to them and the roles won’t come to her and though she would laugh out loud and sarcastically but her life has hit a big fat black hole. After all that much of pilates and treadmill can start jarring and one needs to do something more. Quick advice to her at:

1. FORGET sexy heroine roles

2. LET GO the A list superstars to those little girls (what do they know!)

3. EAT your ego for dinner

4. DO roles which do justice to that incredibly raw talent within you. 

NO STUNT THIS!

Kya hua what happened? Well the stuntman is refusing to jump off the ninth floor of the building onto the moving car!! That’s what’s happened. In Bollywood it’s unheard of for stuntman to say no. But apparently they have got wind of the fact that they have rights too. The stunt was to be for a mega budget film with an A listed superstar, known for his super action packed roles, in the lead. The star has a penchant of calling himself the real ‘MARD’ among the Bollywood heroes and has a whole list of dangerous stunts chalked out for his stuntman. It’s common knowledge that the star is addicted to action packed Korean films.

So when the stuntman refused to do the extremely dangerous stunt the action director was stumped and every trick in the trade was tried to coax the stuntman (one of the best in the business) to do the job but the pragmatic man would not budge wasting a whole lot of production time.

At this the star went berserk and roared at the hapless stuntman in front of the whole crew:

‘—what is he mad? He can’t refuse – I have to jump I mean the Hero has to be shown jumping— he he has to jump!!'

‘That ******* bahut tantaa kar raha hai ! He says he will not do without harnesses—we haven’t got them yet—

Not who will tell this stuck up star that ab woh zamana nahin that you say ‘jump’ and someone will jump!  

Last heard the star and producer threatening the man with:

‘—Tell that **** he can forget his insurance claims the job for his brother heck he can forget he has a job at all tell him—

BAAP RE BAAP

Even before his first film is out this non-photogenic star kid (psst they are still kids at 45 naa but this one is bonafide bachha) …so chalo he has spent crores(of his papa’s hard earned maal) on his personal styling. He is still far from photogenic but then indulgent yesteryear red blooded superstar Papa, with plenty of dough, will do whatever it takes for his darling ‘jigad ka tukra’. So star baba capped his teeth lost his spring chicken cheeks surgically and almost overnight acquired a V shaped body which stunned his friends. And now his hair has gone noticeably thicker. On how the limpy hair acquired a life of their own his new set of lips are sealed. His jealous friend bitched behind his back that star baba is looking so different he is now having to get new set of obviously designer pictures, clicked for his car and passport. Papa has now made it very clear to the director that:

‘I don’t want a cute film. I don’t care for godly talent. Just make me a monster hit.. and my son a superstar. The whole bollywood is rooting for him— he roared !’ and is dictating the cast opposite his son.

The director let out the truth on the not very photogenic star kid’s prospect  

‘What the sad pathetic joke—he looks bad from every angle—except A VERY long shot!’

Chalo so …the director was sent knocking at the door of a top stunning actress(star baba’s favourite actress) to do a dhamaakedaar item number in the film but the actress wanted an unheard of obscene amount of money to fob them off. The director gagged but on the star struck insistence Papa has agreed and the top actress is now in a dilemma.