Crime Novel "Item Girl" gets reviews from Actors Suniel Shetty and Viveik Oberoi

'Evil! Addictive! but Item Girl reminds us there is always a choice.'  -Viveik Oberoi

A chilling murder mystery. Must must Read. - Suniel Shetty

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Superstar Deepika Padukone gets the first advance copy of Crime Novel Item Girl by Richa Lakhera

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FAMOUS FOR BEING FAMOUS

When you think about it this skinny celeb is really famous for being famous. She is a regular at most parties but its funny how she refuses to touch her meal at every do. And god forbid if some delectable morsel happens to finds its way into her rosebud mouth she excuses herself to rush to the bathroom and re-emerged looking redder and sweaty (as if she has just vomited you know the two fingers shoved into her gullet but shhhh !).

 Discreet waiters are quietly instructed to carry off her left-over grub away. The rumor on the street is that she’s found a favorite up-and-comer to hang out with. The problem with the new friend is that he is underage, although no stranger to trouble.

The celeb is not a very good influence and has got the kid back into drugs, wild partying and running with a dangerous crowd. The friendship was originally cooked up to boost the fame for both involved and now has developed into a destructive cycle for each.

PIG. PERIOD

This is a powerful and famous star (and supremely egoistic star) known around the world. He keeps busy and he keeps his lawyers even busier. This summer he got his team to prevent a media story concerning a talked-about woman and a member of his family, then he blocked the publication of pictures of the inside of one of his houses. Despite his claims on being on being royal and loyal(he is neither) OR as it turns out neither is he particularly hygienic. Cleaning up after this star is a NIGHTMARE for the hoteliers who house him in his frequent trips. The fact that he tips generously keeps the lid on the damage he does which actually is pretty bad, HEAR THIS AND DON'T PUKE ...broken bottles filled with strange concoctions of those kinds, kinky lingerie of both sexes, half-sucked barley sugar sticks stuck under bed mattress, hotel food mysteriously thrown under the bed, cigarettes stubbed out on expensive carpeted floors ...and used condoms anywhere and everywhere. All that money on stylists and pr -- what about one nice teacher on hygiene? 

AN OPEN LETTER TO KATRINA KAIF

This is what a prominent entertainment journalist had to say in response to Katrina Kaif's open letter to the media

Dear Katrina

Ok so if I read this right what are you really angry about? You and Ranbir looked great in those pictures. You were adequately dressed for the beach minus the red and white combination of course. Wearing a bikini on the beach is definitely better than wearing one on the cover of cosmopolitan. Also you can’t be dating Bollywood’s new age superstar and behave like you did when you were dating one 18 years your senior.

The two of you are now the biggest stars in Bollywood and if you belong to a generation that says have a great body — will flaunt — then why these double standards? Was it a private beach? No. Was it a beach where people would recognize you? Of Course… you are a superstar remember? Public figure plus public beach usually results in public display of the pictures clicked… Period.

Now the part where you say the pictures were clicked for commercial gain…Fair point, but what about those bikini pictures that have made their way to glamorous magazine covers and the world wide web? Surely not all of them were morphed and definitely resulted in commercial gain for the magazine concerned so what’s the problem?

If memory serves us right it’s been several decades and film magazines in India have been a mixture of interviews, photoshoots and gossip. It’s no secret how these magazines that said interviews, photoshoots and gossip have been mutually beneficial. There’s a reason why they say there’s no business like ‘show’ business.

But having said, if you’re THIS distressed, then here’s what the media should do. We shouldn’t publish any of your promotional pictures. We shouldn’t interview you closer to your film’s release or when you endorse a product. THEN, you can hold us responsible if we get into your house and click pictures. Isn’t that what invasive means in the first place?
Also when we have the crazy chemistry that Deepika and Ranbir share on the big screen to talk about why bother with what’s happening in his personal life unless suddenly… one day… after the super success of Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani… a source close to you starts discussing your holiday plans in front of us.

Also, if you’re looking how “manage” incidents like this, allow us to point you in the direction of Kareena Kapoor and Saif Ali Khan. They came out in the open about their relationship on the red carpet of a fashion week… that was more than five years ago. They have been on countless holidays since and we are sure more than one of them involved sporting the bikini. Not that we’ve seen the pictures.

Yours Truly
Invasive Media Person

WHY IS KATRINA MIFFED

Apart from the fact that they are Bollywood superstars, if you look at the picture.. there is nothing really scandalous about them. A pretty girl in the beach with her boyfriend. They are not indulging in any indecent act. It’s a simple innocuous picture. So the question is why does Katrina Kaif feel miffed and betrayed by the media? According to a letter purportedly written by her Miss Kaif has accused media of yellow journalism. If this is true its an idiotic attempt to shoot the messenger who merely pointed out, in a manner of speaking that the emperor has no clothes!! In the letter Katrina Kaif accuses the Indian media of invading her personal space by printing photographs of Ranbir Kapoor and her, on vacation on a beach in Ibiza, Spain.

‘I am writing this to say that I feel most upset, distressed and invaded at my pictures published in a film magazine (and which were carried by other media). The pictures were taken while I was on holiday by someone who, in an act of cowardice, has shot without permission and then used the pictures for commercial gain. There is a breed of journalism that preys on celebrities in the worst possible manner crossing all lines of privacy and decency. Running these pictures shows support for this school of journalism. I request that all media running these pictures please refrain from doing so. I have a wonderful relationship with the media and have been accessible to the media at all times. There is no reason for this furtive and invasive behavior.’

Surprisingly Katrina Kaif should be complaining about paparazzi invasion considering she stays in London which has the virulent encroachment of the celebrity ‘privacy.’ Even the naked Duchess of Cambridge was not spared so what the hell is she talking about ! Truth is the pictures cannot be denied.

LOVE SPORTS

Well they do say a picture says a thousand words. We wonder at the timing of why suddenly we are being bombarded by 'leaked' pictures of bollywood's sexiest 'it' pair, hugging in Ibiza.. cosying in London.. in Spain .. in Srilanka ..in Newyork ..in Dubai ..it just is going on and on. 

Its unbelievable that the ultra-image conscious Katrina Kaif who is not known for throwing caution to the winds can be unaware of these pictures being leaked. And Ranbir Kapoor ...well... lets say he hides them better than he reveals them ! Maybe Katrina wants the world to know that he is HER man. And he is TAKEN. Knowing her prince charming's glad eye and with gorgeous young girls throwing themselves over him, she could not be in a secure place. Some of these girls could be as determined as Katrina was ! ( recall the Ranbir-Deepika breakup)... 

Must say though Katrina in a red bikini bottom and white top looks extremely fetching and shapely. Chalo at least we nowknow why Ranbir cannot keep his hands off her. Watch this space .. there is more drama happening sooner than later !  

Pix courtesy stardust! 

MOVE ON LADY

She is not getting any younger. The actress (an egoistic wife of a big star) known at one time for her incredible talent and equally formidable temper tantrums is feeling rather lost. While her older peers (with perfect family lives and kids thank you) have managed enviable comebacks, she has only managed to piss people off with her rude attitude. She is ruing her past behaviour (with some B list directors who have become A list) but it’s a bit too late in the day. The talented actress had refused some good roles (one even went to her cousin) claiming the roles were not perfect for her. Of course she made it a point to bitch to everyone within an earshot that the roles were first offered to her. Her superstar co-actors have moved on to younger and fresher ladies. And sadly even the veneer of a perfect family picture (which she was hiding behind) has been cracking for some time. She canNOT be aware of people snickering behind her back so she avoids the parties, not that she is being called to the really happening ones. Her husband’s fallout with a superstar did not win her any brownie points. Though she is still young but her big ego stops her from really going out and getting roles with meat. She stubbornly won’t go to them and the roles won’t come to her and though she would laugh out loud and sarcastically but her life has hit a big fat black hole. After all that much of pilates and treadmill can start jarring and one needs to do something more. Quick advice to her at:

1. FORGET sexy heroine roles

2. LET GO the A list superstars to those little girls (what do they know!)

3. EAT your ego for dinner

4. DO roles which do justice to that incredibly raw talent within you. 

HER ‘STALKER’ FAN

She is still reeling from the shock of it. This beautiful actress cannot forget the feeling of utter helplessness and rage when she was almost groped publicly in a mall. The ‘maniac’ as she calls him had tried to get friendly at a press conference and mistaking her friendly gestures as something 'more' the obsessed man started stalking her at city events. She had not noticed him at first and then when he was pointed out she thought he was just a harmless fan albeit a touch zealous. Till the ‘harmless’ fan turned out to be anything but! It happened at a mall when after a media photo-op she was signing some fans’ autographs when she felt someone standing too close to her. She looked up to see the strange bulky man(her harmless fan!) close enough to touch her face and when she signaled to her PR in alarm, the ‘fan’ smiled at her and moved out but only after casually touching her hairn she swears. The actress stood frozen in the spot and was terribly shaken at the security lapse, but she is miffed at reports that the man posing as a media-person was spotted trying to get hold of her private number. The fallout of the incident is that the actress still terrified over the incident has put her foot down against attending any events at malls as she has absolutely no intention to put herself in a similar situation any time soon.  

PATI PATNI AUR WOH

She goes blue in the face denying her marriage is not on the rocks but sources close to her say that her shaadi is only on paper now(and that too not for long). The actress had been sighted at a city court recently which sent tongues wagging on the formal beginning of the end but she denied all the ‘stupid’ rumours as ‘jealous heartburn’ claiming her married life was all paradise. Perhaps snakes have sneaked into her Eden, or contrarily she may have bitten the forbidden apple (once toooo often some bitchy people insist) because things are definitely amiss.

Some say she(having seen the writing on the wall) may be going down the route of another prominent actress who got herself an incredibly rich beau with a penchant for gifting her obscenely expensive rings, but never on the ‘right’ finger. Now this actress has also been seen in the company of a very (VERY!!!) rich man, albeit married. But then since when has that little technicality stood in the way of a smoking hot affair.  Heard that Mr moneybag’s richie rich wifey gets pretty annoyed at the mention of the actress’s name but has conveyed to all and sundry that ‘girls like her come and go’ but her man will come back to her. Incidentally wifey also has controlling shares in some of his important buisness stakes. So if the actress is looking for any permanence in her new relation, she may have some real cause for worry.

HER DOUBLE JEOPARDY

Its no secret this smoking hot entry into Bollywood has been seen in the company of a dashing superstar, who has an eye for pretty young things. Problem is she is also formed a deep connection (the kind other than professional they swear) with a director known for his noir films. Lately the director has taken to flying off the handle at the mention of the name of the young superstar. Insiders say the director has been made aware of the actress’s ‘dalliances’ so that he would stop making a fool of himself over her. But such is his addiction to the young hottie that instead of cutting off from the girl the director has given an ultimatum to the girl to ‘stop seeing’ the superstar actor accusing her of becoming lazy, uninterested and distracted from work. No one needs to spell it out that can kiss the meaty roles he had promised her in his new film goodbye if she continues her dalliance. The young girl is shocked as she has been attending acting and voice training workshops suggested by the director himself to prepare her for the grand role and does not want to jeopardize her ‘special connection’ with the famous director. Nor does she want to endanger her ‘true friendship’ with the superstar actor as she says has ‘selflessly helped her’ in making her feel at home in a city which was completely new to her. Our heart goes out to the poor lassie, really hoping the cherub faced stunner finds a way out of her entanglements.

 

CASTING 'OUCH'

There are hush hush whispers linking him to two of his much-older co-stars (one of them married). This dishy young and upcoming star has meanwhile quietly gone out and found himself a new and very young and very rich girlfriend. She, the daughter of a diamond merchant, has considerable funds and leads a lavish lifestyle. Her much married father has bought a slew of talent-management and events company is himself linked to a prominent yesteryears actress. The young heiress now wants a glitzy filmy career of her own and we hear her moneybags father is willing to fund if this young actor stars opposite her. But the actor's little fling has not gone unnoticed by either of his older co-stars. While one of the ladies is happy playing the ignoramus (rumours say she is herself playing the field) the other powerful actress has threatened the young upcoming actor in no uncertain terms to stop his little fling or else. The actor is nervous as he does not want to upset the older actress who has powerful contacts with big producers and many say is his ticket to several meaty projects (but they are mostly in multi-starrer films) but also feels he needs this big solo debut. Now the word on the street is that the temperamental richie rich girl friend has become extremely possessive of her boyfriend and has loudly claimed that she would ''teach that buddhi a lesson'' when she meets her next time. Caught between the powerful older actress and the younger daughter of a powerful man the actor is having sleepless nights. The actor is being pressed to decide on the matter before an ugly public spat happens.

HER SHADY PAST

For stars to launch their sons and daughters and all sorts of relatives is but fait accompli in Bollywood. This stunning superstar with an enviable track record at the box office despite her laughable dialogue deliveries and average acting abilities is hell-bent on launching her pretty sister in a Hindi film with a ‘respectable’ star. Now, lil sister did have an unintentional soft launch of sorts, in the form of a no-holds barred MMS clip with a firangi porn star. The MMS clip became quite a hit on the net. The superstar big sister went blue in the face claiming that-girl-is-not-my-sister-but-someone-who-looks-like-her, not that anyone is buying. Now big sister is nothing of not focused. So the gorgeous superstar has now taken to pressing on her immensely powerful superstar boyfriend to deal with the matter just like he did with her old follies from her desperate starlet waala days( like getting that Bollywood baddie's nose stuck in her cleavage type crass scenes chopped from her film, etecetras) Nobody talks about it in front of her but everybody whispers behind her back about lots of arm twisting and pots of money. Now with little sister’s shady past catching up with her the superstarni is scared of all the badnaami lest it has a fallout on her new relation with a young superstar from a blue blooded Bollywood family. Now serious attempts

are being made to BUY the lil sister's shocking footage from the dubious films (yup she did several) before they make their way into the market. Rumour has it she will do whatever it takes to hide the shady pasts, but as they say, skeletons have a way of coming out of the closet.

WHAT AILS 'JALEBI BAI'

Jalebi Bai astonishes us beyond belief. No its not her crude raunchy dance moves this time motor mouth Mallika Sherawat has left us stupefied with her bizarre utterings. The barely clad damsel at Cannes (no less!) went against her own country hammer and tongs calling India a 'repressive' society for women. She also expressed deep angst claiming to be 'depressed' being an Indian woman!! In a heavy accent Mallika passionately claimed to be the first Indian actress to 'kiss' as well as 'wear a bikini' on screen. Which, she said made her 'instantly' a 'fallen woman' and a 'superstar'. Now the Murder girl’s utterings have deeply offended superstar Priyanka Chopra. Priyanka has expressed deep annoyance at Mallika’s comments which she feels is an 'extreme misrepresentation of India'.  So while Mallika feels that women in India are at the bottom of the society we wonder which India is the once-married Haryana girl from an ultra-conservative Jatt family referring to?? This is the same Mallika who was accused of running away to America when her scandalous MMS went viral on the net. The case of the 'depressed' and 'repressed' Jalebi Bai gets even more curious as Mallika Sherawat is set to wed a 'repressive' Indian man in a new reality TV show!!  Miss Mallika is searching for an Indian groom in a new reality shaadi show (aka Rakhi Sawant etc ) don’t ask why but ways of the mallika only mallika knows. Or Maybe Repression pays better? Yeah Mallika?

SHAHRUKH GETS PUNCHED BY DEEPIKA!

She will break your nose....Smash your head ....Tear your clothes!! Hell hath no fury like the stunning Deepika on a comeback trail. Deepika (The old) is DEAD. Long Live Deepika.

Now don't you shed those nostalgic tears for the 'seedhi saadhi' dainty that was just yet luverlies... coz this dabang diva hates tears too. Take a dekho at footage Shah Rukh Khan getting smacked on the face by Deepika. The actress happily proceeds to break a bottle on macho man Rohit Shetty's head. Chalo agreed the lovely lady has proved her deadly point but what’s the 'real' point of this hyperactivity?   

Is it to do with the new super smart and ''secret'' career advisor she has found?? C’mon now ...from making a fool of herself mooning over a public breakup with the hottest superstar to a girl who is able to scoff at love with 'main ..tum pe marti thee?' lines....hmmm so who is behind this interesting makeover. While some of you are clapping on Deepika's perfectly timed image reinvention from the gharelu gaai to girl-who-can-kick-some-serious-arse.......well........rumour has it that the lovely lady is being advised by a ''powerful bollywood film-maker'' who has taken it on himself to help the pretty girl reinvent herself in a delicious new avtaar. In deepika's carreer it’s a watershed moment. So while the lovely Katrina is stuck in glamorous-but-pls-excuse-the-crap-acting rutt, hottie Priyanka has a lot of baggage with star wives guning for her, and the blindingly gorgeous (and married) Kareena is stuck in not so madly exciting roles, it IS Deepika's time. Can you believe it She has finally got it! So yeah get on the train baby. 

KAMASUTRA ITEM GIRL

In news for her recent nudie photo-shoots for Playboy, she was pointedly ignored by some top heroines since she had come to Canne film festival. After days of seeing through the her and smirking at her dubious ‘actor’ talents, one of them suggested (quiet meanly) that maybe the patakha item girl and desi play boy bunny had mistakenly read her Porn’s invite as Cannes’. After all ‘such’ non-actors can’t be invited to the prestigious Canne….there must be a mistake!! Well turns out there was NOT. The irritated posh girls turned meaner turning up their pretty noses (as only Indian women can brrrr) at the ‘half caste’ stunner blatantly refusing photo-ops with the her. For the controversial item girl the message was clear. Stay out of the way of the REAL stars and lie low, lower than the roaches. She lay low, till it was payback time. The item girl walked the glittering red carpet with a smile and little else. Draped in a transparent black dress her black brassiere peeping (enough to make the hard core blush) and a heavy choker neckpiece the desi Playboy Bunny left little to imagination when she walked Cannes red carpet dressed every bit as raunchy as her kamasutra poses in her film inspired by Kamasutra. Pictures of her splashed in Parisian papers they had to sit up and notice. So while a certain ex beauty queen and former top heroine looked like a well fed greek goddess and another super talented actress a Kolkata auntyji, she left everyone gobsmacked with her toned body. And Cmon.. as some hens clucked.. at least she had a film to show at Canne !! 4D kamasutra anyone?!

ISHQ ON THE SIDE

But where is the goddamn Hero?! Past several days its been hard to miss Ishq in Paris(yawn) producer-actor -IPL owner Preity Zinta splashing herself all over town to promote her new film. Now Miss Zinta has been at it since last year but well that is another story. Its common knowledge that the once very popular heroine has pulled out all stops for her maiden venture, with its set main mission : to regain for Miss Zinta her lost glory in Bollywood. Expectedly Zinta’s ‘Bollywood comeback’ mission met an embarrassing setback when none her so-called friends, all big male stars (and her former co-actors) showed any interest in working opposite her in this ‘comeback’ vehicle, save good old Salman (bless him) who agreed to do an item number.  Chalo, that’s fine but when do we get a ‘moohdikhaayi’ of Preity’s Hero?  Given Preity’s repeated appearance sans her Hero, it’s embarrassingly obvious that something is amiss. So why is Preity Zinta keeping the hero under wraps? Is the Hero NOT welcome at his own film’s promotions? Or Does Preity not want to spoil the surprise or

is she scared the surprise may shock away her fans? For this we need to know the history (sad sad sad) of this Hero. Well he is a small time failed TV serial actor who is desperately hoping this film will do it for him in Bollywood, given that he has a starring role— which is fine considering the actress, meanwhile, is herself hoping this film will end her unemployment as a heroine. But the question is how .. Just HOW, did a small model land up a part opposite the choosy and super picky Miss Zinta? !!

So here’s the thing. The significantly younger hero (with an unpronounceable name- its goes Rhehan Mallieekk or something) stepped in, courtesy the film’s director. Yup they are ‘old friends’(just good friends they claim blah blah). If closer friends are to be believed poor Preity noticed too late what was happening right under her nose while the whole world, and her set hands, was gossiping about their male director’s soft and gooey spot for the film’s leading man. Now it appears Miss Zinta is not pleased with the prospect of answering the badtameez media’s cheeky questions on this side Ishq she had not really bargained for.

Nateeja yeh, that Mr Hero has been kicked off the promotions and has no option to cool his  heels while pretty woman does his job too. 

BADTAMEEZ HEROINE

She has several super hits behind her, courtesy the A lister actors who carried the film on their shoulders. But this star daughter, who loves to mention her family connections at the drop of a hat and looks older than her twenty something years, has developed such a massive Diva - Complex which could put Paris Hilton to shame!! After modelling herself on the 'perfect Indian woman' prototype the well-endowed Bollywood’s bharatiya nari has taken to looking down on anyone in a short skirt or a bikini (rumour has it she is not allowed to wear either as papa dear knows the ways of the big bad industry). Fresh dictates that her staff suffix a reverential 'JI'  (when they interact with her) amuses us but what gets our goat is that she has started looking down on other actresses who are not as 'pedigreed' . At this glitzy event when this diva star daughter discovered that she was supposed to share the stage with a talented young (though famously hyper strung) actress she got miffed beyond belief and stubbornly she refused to step out of her vanity van. The star daughter was very irritated that the organizers had not 'warned' her that she would be sharing the stage with 'that' actress.

The organizers pleaded with the angry young actress to relent as her name had been announced on stage but the star daughter ji would simply not budge. Matters came to a head when she lost her cool and threw a terrible tantrum and inadvertently even let out the infamous 'Don't-you-know-I-am-a-Superstar' line' and 'you-know-who-my-father-is-naa' ! Facing public humiliation the disgusted organizers finally made frantic calls to her papa 'ji' . But Papa ji proved to be more stubborn than Beti ji. In the midst of all this tamasha the star daughter left the venue without meeting anyone. We think a lesson in humility, dollops of good manners , maybe a finishing school on 'tameez' (surely papa ji can afford?) would help the otherwise nice girl to become the perfect bharatiya nari she claims to be.  

Her Dirty Secret

This celebrity hair stylist is hopping mad at this superstar actress with whom acting is not a strong point. This foreign import who has become a top Bollywood actress has made this celebrity hair stylist super-angry with her pricey and bitchy behaviour.

The much tattooed hairstylist vouches for the days when before becoming a superstar this firang and fresh looking actress was just a regular nice sweet girl who patiently waited her turn and never forgot her manners with the employees in the hair studio. But stardom seems to have to have turned her head so much that she has strated treating everyone like dirt.

The celebrity hairstylist is hopping mad and dishing the dope on how how this superstar actress is NOT at all this virginal prude school girl act she fakes but exactly the opposite and reportedly indulged in hard core activities which would horrify her family audience. Hey bhagwan I cannot tell you what she is supposed to be an 'expert' in doing but lets say I was shocked and embarassed (and that does not happen easily) !!

According to her friends the superstar actress RESENTS that the celebrity hairstylist knows her shady past and wants to basically run the stylist out of town before her own shady secrets becoem public knowledge. She even set her powerful boyfriend on the fiesty hairstylist but that dint work as the girl gave back as good as she got. Whats worse the actress's personal staff have also started mooching of production budget by getting their own hair and makeup done at the superexpensive studios and shamelessly charging the producers.

SUNNY VS VEENA

This scandalous import from across the border obviously does not like it Sunny side up! Though Pakistani actress and item girl Veena Malik’s smoking hot moves may be causing even her most hard core fans to cringe in discomfort Veena has accused the hottie port star Sunny of being a 'publicity hungry hound' and ready to do 'anything' for money. That she herself has done more than just shaking her booty in fishnet stockings and little else and has even managed to get a charge filed against her for defaming Pakistan and ISI by doing a semi-nude photo shoot for an Indian magazine is obviously a lesser crime in than what 'that porn star' does for a living. On being quizzed about how she feels on Sunny Leone becoming the hottest in demand flavor after her too hot for Indian television 'Laila' item number in Shootout at Wadala, which made Priyanka Chopra appear virginal in Babli Badmash and even hottie Sophie Chaudhary's hard core moves paled in comparison, Veena simply turns up her nose. Veena hotly says you cannot compare her to Sunny Leone who is a porn star. But  Veena Malika won’t mind if you compare her with Katrina Kaif who is also 'like her' a serious model turned actress from abroad who has come to Mumbai to make her mark.