FAMOUS FOR BEING FAMOUS

When you think about it this skinny celeb is really famous for being famous. She is a regular at most parties but its funny how she refuses to touch her meal at every do. And god forbid if some delectable morsel happens to finds its way into her rosebud mouth she excuses herself to rush to the bathroom and re-emerged looking redder and sweaty (as if she has just vomited you know the two fingers shoved into her gullet but shhhh !).

 Discreet waiters are quietly instructed to carry off her left-over grub away. The rumor on the street is that she’s found a favorite up-and-comer to hang out with. The problem with the new friend is that he is underage, although no stranger to trouble.

The celeb is not a very good influence and has got the kid back into drugs, wild partying and running with a dangerous crowd. The friendship was originally cooked up to boost the fame for both involved and now has developed into a destructive cycle for each.

FATTY HEROINE

This recentle married pretty actress, known for her talent, who was rather thick to begin with, has always been very weight conscious. After plumping up a little recently, she now wants to sport a flat tummy at an upcoming awards show so you could marvel at how amazing and perfect she is. So she had some liposuction. While she’s been keeping a very low profile lately, she’s never been one to stay out of the spotlight for long, so the paps just might catch a glimpse of her out in public . They might even note that she is walking slower than usual or holding her stomach.

In any case, you will definitely see her at an upcoming awards show – perhaps even on stage, pretending that her flat stomach is the result of discipline and hard work.

WHAT GOES AROUND

She is very nervous and irritable nowadays if you quiz her about him. She has reason to be. This beautiful actress’s current boyfriend (a very successful and talented star) is now bum chumming with his stunning ex who (its comman knowledge) still has the hots for him. The beautiful actress is well aware of her boyfriend’s philandering ways having herself benefitted from his roving eye when he(enjoying his jawani to the hilt) was still seeing his ex ! But listen to this.  Despite her choc a bloc schedule, the beautiful actress is looking for bizzare reasons to land up at the sets of the film which her current is shooting with his ex. Over garam chai bitchy insiders and jealous friends are recalling the not so distant past when this same actress was caught slyly seeing the unfaithful ex when he was still in a serious relationship with his now ex!! Errr complicated naa? But then isn’t love always that, or its not worth talking about. But there is trouble in paradise since the beautiful actress, who is also approaching a certain age is now persistently demanding serious commitment and is most unhappy with the exes getting friendly again. While the deewani stunner who has much matured since her pehla pehla khumaar wala craze can be seen basking in the attention of her ex and is positively glowing with don’t ask me what! The two are spending long hours on the sets together but the candid photops released for public (yes her too) consumption always has the two at ‘safe’ distance, not even making eye contact!! Obviously the possessive girlfriend is not convinced and

it’s a big big fight waiting to happen.

NO STUNT THIS!

Kya hua what happened? Well the stuntman is refusing to jump off the ninth floor of the building onto the moving car!! That’s what’s happened. In Bollywood it’s unheard of for stuntman to say no. But apparently they have got wind of the fact that they have rights too. The stunt was to be for a mega budget film with an A listed superstar, known for his super action packed roles, in the lead. The star has a penchant of calling himself the real ‘MARD’ among the Bollywood heroes and has a whole list of dangerous stunts chalked out for his stuntman. It’s common knowledge that the star is addicted to action packed Korean films.

So when the stuntman refused to do the extremely dangerous stunt the action director was stumped and every trick in the trade was tried to coax the stuntman (one of the best in the business) to do the job but the pragmatic man would not budge wasting a whole lot of production time.

At this the star went berserk and roared at the hapless stuntman in front of the whole crew:

‘—what is he mad? He can’t refuse – I have to jump I mean the Hero has to be shown jumping— he he has to jump!!'

‘That ******* bahut tantaa kar raha hai ! He says he will not do without harnesses—we haven’t got them yet—

Not who will tell this stuck up star that ab woh zamana nahin that you say ‘jump’ and someone will jump!  

Last heard the star and producer threatening the man with:

‘—Tell that **** he can forget his insurance claims the job for his brother heck he can forget he has a job at all tell him—

BY HOOK OR BY CROOK

‘I can tell you IT’S A the great idea. Just this I have a great great red hot idea. I will tell you my idea just let me get hold of the ****’s script’ 

This is how every conversation worth a dollar is starting in Bollywood to say. Everyone wants an in into this maha film being adapted from the ‘golden’ script of this author who achieved almost overnight success(dont ask me how).
Chalo…so a mega film with a mega cast is being prepared already billed a super-duper-blockbuster. The author is neck deep in personal invites from superstars thirsting for a role. Dont ask me who but this top heroine, known for her thumkas, has been non-stop on the phone with the author trying to call him to her personal soirees. The author though flattered is also being courted by a rival camp and does not have the gumption to say no to anyone. The thing is the author has personal favourites, a handsome top actor and talented masaledaar actress who he thinks will do complete justice to the roles. But Mr moneybags producer, who is not on speaking terms with either,  has made it clear that the buck starts and stops with him. The author is now being politely told that he should be happy(and thankful) that his name will feature prominently in the credits. The shit thing is that the poor author is facing the flak. Last heard a top actress bitching….  

‘I sent my secy to him he sent her back with a note scribbled ‘forget it’ its my film no one tells me forget it! Do kaudi ka writer frigging off his rocker ,.he just does not acknowledge the letters I send him—

HAR EK PRODUCER KAMINA HOTA HAI

She is talented, stunning and equally volatile actress. An A list star had the hots for her and maamla got so serious that star’s equally fiery biwi lost it and made sure the actress lost out on plum projects and never worked with her hubby again. Don’t ask me how but her e mail account was recently hacked with half her friends getting nasty emails before it was shut down. But I digress. So while ‘He’ is out grazing on new and fresh pastures, the emotionally strung and pissed of actress has gone positively flaky with outlandish demands for her latest film. 

Miss Heroine is demanding that the Moneybags producer, who is a friend of her ‘Ex’, should book her into a nearby suburban luxury hotel so she can get her beauty sleep. But the skinflint producer is not giving her the time of the day. Stay with the rest of the cast on the set or in your van – He hollered at her in front of the crew! And this has left the heroine fuming and extremely displeased. She is bitching to everyone about the producers’ battle with the bulge laced with unprintable expletives. The actress is complaining that she has to shoot at night and cant sleepin the days because its noisy outside and alleged she had some peeping toms scaring her. So she wants her family to be put in with her in a luxury suite. Needless to say the producer threw her demand out and told her to deal with it. The actress is shocked since she has come to know that another heroine had been provided luxury hotel accommodation by the same producer.