MOVE ON LADY

She is not getting any younger. The actress (an egoistic wife of a big star) known at one time for her incredible talent and equally formidable temper tantrums is feeling rather lost. While her older peers (with perfect family lives and kids thank you) have managed enviable comebacks, she has only managed to piss people off with her rude attitude. She is ruing her past behaviour (with some B list directors who have become A list) but it’s a bit too late in the day. The talented actress had refused some good roles (one even went to her cousin) claiming the roles were not perfect for her. Of course she made it a point to bitch to everyone within an earshot that the roles were first offered to her. Her superstar co-actors have moved on to younger and fresher ladies. And sadly even the veneer of a perfect family picture (which she was hiding behind) has been cracking for some time. She canNOT be aware of people snickering behind her back so she avoids the parties, not that she is being called to the really happening ones. Her husband’s fallout with a superstar did not win her any brownie points. Though she is still young but her big ego stops her from really going out and getting roles with meat. She stubbornly won’t go to them and the roles won’t come to her and though she would laugh out loud and sarcastically but her life has hit a big fat black hole. After all that much of pilates and treadmill can start jarring and one needs to do something more. Quick advice to her at:

1. FORGET sexy heroine roles

2. LET GO the A list superstars to those little girls (what do they know!)

3. EAT your ego for dinner

4. DO roles which do justice to that incredibly raw talent within you. 

HER SHADY PAST

For stars to launch their sons and daughters and all sorts of relatives is but fait accompli in Bollywood. This stunning superstar with an enviable track record at the box office despite her laughable dialogue deliveries and average acting abilities is hell-bent on launching her pretty sister in a Hindi film with a ‘respectable’ star. Now, lil sister did have an unintentional soft launch of sorts, in the form of a no-holds barred MMS clip with a firangi porn star. The MMS clip became quite a hit on the net. The superstar big sister went blue in the face claiming that-girl-is-not-my-sister-but-someone-who-looks-like-her, not that anyone is buying. Now big sister is nothing of not focused. So the gorgeous superstar has now taken to pressing on her immensely powerful superstar boyfriend to deal with the matter just like he did with her old follies from her desperate starlet waala days( like getting that Bollywood baddie's nose stuck in her cleavage type crass scenes chopped from her film, etecetras) Nobody talks about it in front of her but everybody whispers behind her back about lots of arm twisting and pots of money. Now with little sister’s shady past catching up with her the superstarni is scared of all the badnaami lest it has a fallout on her new relation with a young superstar from a blue blooded Bollywood family. Now serious attempts

are being made to BUY the lil sister's shocking footage from the dubious films (yup she did several) before they make their way into the market. Rumour has it she will do whatever it takes to hide the shady pasts, but as they say, skeletons have a way of coming out of the closet.

IMPORTED 'ITEM'

Hey bhagwan ! you will say. But its true my Burberry scarf ki kasam. This blonde beauty was sitting between the two well-known regional superstars, one a mashoor Bhojpuri actor and another young Punjabi star. Jammed firmly between the stars she waited for the presser to start in the jam-packed hall. She sat mutely looking slightly overwhelmed with a very aggressive media but largely refused to answer the questions flying around. Finally, with great fanfare the stunning blonde item girl was introduced. The producer explained that the blonde beauty, who was doing a sex

y item number in the film, was from Slovakia and though the girl could understand angrezi she hardly spoke any English. So naturally every time a question was directed at the mesmerizing blonde the producer or the PR butted in. She was after all the item girl of the film, she was not there to speak but an item to show but would give stiff competition to reigning foreign imports in Btown from Sunny, Katrina to Nathalia, Yana and Claudia and more. Chalo... So what was the kaam of the goongi gudiya at a presser where she cannot speak? Eyeballs and more eyeballs. The stunner was easy on the eye and wore a revealing dress which hardly left anything to imagination. The still photogs and cameramen were too enamoured with the doll and seemed more than content with her ‘darshan’. The press conference over the photo ops happened and the foreign beauty was asked to pose in indescribable ways when the unthinkable happened!!

A thin looking cameraman lost his footing and his chunky camera tripod fell on the blonde beauty queen’s dainty foot. ‘’Bhen**** !!’’ she screamed quite clearly in a thick Punjabi accent.

Hope the producers were able to convince the press that the Bhen**** is a Slovakian cuss.